What You Call A Dream
by delovlies
Summary: "He got so mad at me when I told him. He hasn't stopped yelling at me since last night. All these awful things, and he keeps accusing me over and over again. He says it's my fault, not his. I'm the one to blame, not him. Not both of us." First Bonnie and Clyde story, this is going to become completely AU!
1. Chapter 1

_I don't really know why I'm writing this. I never write like this. Mama always said it helped her to keep a diary, but I don't think she's right. I just gotta tell somebody this. I can't tell Clyde, 'cause he's the problem. Well, mostly. And if I tell Mama, she'll be so angry. Clyde already told me that we are not telling Buck and Blanche. So, as of now, I don't have anyone to tell all this to. So I'm going to write it down. _

_He got so mad at me when I told him. I had it planned out a little more carefully, but I just sorta blurted it out. He hasn't stopped yelling at me since last night. All these awful things, and he keeps accusing me over and over again. He says it's my fault, not his. I'm the one to blame, not him. Not both of us. He didn't let me go with him today, either. He keeps talking about Ted, too. Says it's his, and all that. _

_So now Clyde's gone, and I'm supposed to stay here and think of a way out of this whole mess. _

_I'm not going to get rid of my baby, though. That's what he wants. He went so far as to tell me that it be better for the baby if I had an abortion, that way it wouldn't be in any danger. I'm not doing that. I never really thought too much about having kids, but I guess it's a little too late for that. They never fit in with my stupid dream about being a movie star. I never really thought I'd have them._

_But I never really thought I'd be a criminal, either. _

_But I am still keeping the baby. I don't know what to do with it after it's born. I guess I got six months to think about that. _

_Clyde always likes to brag that nothin' scares me. But I am kinda scared. Scared for the baby, and myself, and for me and Clyde. If I insist on keeping the baby, is he gonna leave me? I've already told him that babies are living things, and humans, not something you can just get rid of. He tells me gals in West Dallas did it all the time. I wonder if he ever got any other girl pregnant. _

_You should have heard all the terrible things he said to me. First, he accused me of just trying to get attention. Then he said me and Ted were havin' an affair behind his back, and that the baby was Ted's, instead of his. Well, I haven't seen Ted Hinton in six months, not since we left West Dallas. And even if I had, I wouldn't ever sleep with him. He more or less asked me to more than a few times, but I never loved him enough to do it. Maybe in grade school, I had a tiny crush on him. But that's about it. Certainly not now, with him hounding me all the time. _

_But I love Clyde, and I know he loves me. I don't want this baby to come between us. _

**Okay, so, I planned to do a slightly more realistic take on a Bonnie and Clyde story about them having a baby. I've got a lot planned out already, and a bunch of completely AU ideas. So let me know what you think, and thanks for reading! **

**Xoxo**

**Delovlies **


	2. Chapter 2

**Second chapter! Thanks to KnightNight7203 for the kind review, and all my invisible viewers! Although ya'll could leave a review this time…hint hint! **

"Bonnie." Clyde leaned over her and shook her gently. "Wake up, I'm back." He whispered.

Her eyes opened, and she gave him a sleep-induced smile. "Oh, I guess I must've fallen asleep, baby."

Clyde stepped backwards. They'd practically been at each other's throats last night, and her sudden mood change seemed awkward. Bonnie's brow furrowed, and she shot him a glance. "So, how'd it go?" she asked, sitting up.

He shrugged. "I got it pretty scoped out. The bank doesn't seem to have a whole lot in it, but that's okay. It won't attract too much attention that way. Either way, we gotta make our move and get out of here before we're noticed." Bonnie nodded. She'd known that forever.

They'd camped out in the woods west of the small, dusty town in Arkansas. Clyde had parked the car in a ravine, mostly out of sight. Bonnie hated camping outside, but she'd rather spend a few days out in the woods than be caught by the law. They'd been sleeping in the car, and it wasn't the most comfortable situation.

"So, you still mad at me?" Bonnie said sarcastically, sass evident in her voice. She crossed her arms and leveled him with a stare.

Bonnie Parker was just about the only person who could make Clyde feel uncomfortable. Just one look could make him feel like a heel.

"Nah, Sugar. I was never mad at you." He said. Bonnie rolled her eyes. "I mean, I guess I kind of took the news badly."

"Is that a half-assed way of apologizing?" Bonnie demanded. Clyde had to laugh at all her guts to say that kind of thing. Most of the girls he'd dated before her, in West Dallas, had barely had enough guts to tell their parents about him. "Well?" she pressed when he only laughed.

"Yeah, I guess it is. I know it's not your fault, Sugar, and I'm sorry for sayin' so."

"Good." She ran a hand through her hair.

"But we still gotta talk about the baby." Clyde took a step towards her. She glared at him again, her eyes flashing.

"What's there to talk about?"

"We can't keep it. Heck, you shouldn't even have it." Clyde looked away when he said that, already knowing what kind of reaction he would get.

"Clyde Barrow, our baby isn't an 'it', it's a 'he' or a 'she!'" Bonnie yelled, getting to her feet to stand her ground. "And there's no way in hell I'm getting rid of it." She hated when they argued, she really did. But she hated letting men walk all over her or just giving into them even more. She couldn't even remember the last time they had argued. And it had probably been over something stupid, like what to eat for dinner, or something like that.

"I understand how you feel, Bonnie." Clyde said. "Maybe we should talk about it in the morning." She understood he was backing down from their fight, and she relented.

"Okay. But we can't put it off forever." She turned to leave, but Clyde caught her hand.  
"I—I don't want to hurt you, Sugar. But we do gotta think about this, and make some decisions." He kissed her cheek.

"I know." Her voice fell to a whisper. "I think I'm gonna take a walk. I want to be by myself." Clyde didn't try to stop her this time.

* * *

_Damn, I hate feeling like this!_ For the last couple of weeks, her hormones had been spiked and fluctuating. Either she was sick and nauseous, or on the verge of tears, like she was now. Growing up, Bonnie had schooled herself not to cry. It made Mama upset, and it made her vulnerable. But lately, it seemed like she cried at the drop of hat. She'd left Clyde before he could see her cry. It occurred to her that she'd never actually cried around him. A sob welled up in her throat, but she squeezed her eyes shut and willed herself not to cry. She shuddered, and the tears came anyway.

* * *

Clyde watched Bonnie leave, and then tiredly sat down on the bumper of the car. He'd already known where she was going. He'd heard her cry before, but never said anything. He had never, though, comprehended that it could be about a baby.

In truth, Clyde did not want to be a father. He'd never wanted it. His Ma had always told him to wait until marriage, and if he did have a child out of wedlock, it was his fault and he shouldn't expect help from her. Still, for all of her tough words, Clyde knew that Ma would welcome any children with open arms, regardless of the status of its mother.

Ma had always wanted him to settle down and get married, like Buck did. _But he didn't exactly settle down. _

And Clyde was scared. Scared that his and Bonnie's kid could turn out like a screw-up, just like his father.

* * *

_Come on, come on!_ Bonnie leaned over the steering wheel, searching for Clyde. She willed him to come out of the bank. He'd gone in ten minutes ago to do the hold-up, and he usually was back within ten minutes. She would need to press the gas and get them out as soon as he was in the car, and then they'd take turns driving until they got to a safe house in Oklahoma.

Clyde had said before he left that there was hardly anyone in the store, that it would be an easy job. _What if it's not? What if something happens, and he gets hurt? He could die, and then I'd have to raise his baby without a father. And we'd never settle this thing. _Bonnie already knew that she wasn't going to do that.

Clyde had told her to stay in the car, but she couldn't stand it anymore. She was about to go in after him, when the door to the bank opened and she saw his back. He had the gun pointed at whoever was inside.

Bonnie let out a huge sigh of relief and hit the gas of the car. A second later, she pulled up next to him. He pulled the door open and jumped open. She gunned the engine and the car rolled out of town. It was a few minutes before either of them dared to breathe.

"Was it okay?" she finally asked, her voice sounding weak and small.

Clyde grinned at her. "Yeah, it sure was good. One of the guys thought about calling the bulls, but I shot a hole in his telephone. That's what took me so long. I got more 'n four hundred dollars."

"Good going, baby." She took her eyes off the road long enough to kiss him. "But I'd rather have you safe than the money."

**Hope everyone enjoyed! This was kind of a filler chapter, until I get more into the story. I'd love to know what you guys think, though! Are you on Bonnie's side or Clyde's about the baby? I mentioned completely AU ideas, and I think that it's coming in the next chapter. It will be like no Bonnie and Clyde fanfic seen before, and I'm super excited! Anyway, if anyone is actually still reading this…leave a review and tell me what you thought! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi guys! Thank you for all your reads/follows/ favorites, and especially to ClockworkCreature and my two guests for their lovely reviews! Continuing, again in Bonnie's POV.**

_It could have been so much different than this. That what we wanted, Clyde and I. We never expected it to go this far. At least, I didn't. I fell in love with him before I even knew what he did for a living, and even after I knew, it didn't change things. Even after he was sent to prison, I still loved him. It just about near killed me to see him like that. _

_ And I didn't plan on breaking the law, neither. I just wanted him out, and so I guess I did break the law for that. But once he was out, and we left, that was when my little dream changed so much. _

_ I had always loved the movies. As a little girl, I begged Mama to let me go see Clara Bow movies, and I sat in the dark theater, utterly enchanted, for two hours. Gone was the Depression, the dust, Mama, and reality went out the door too. I could escape into a land of glamour and romance. I idolized Louise Brooks, and longed for Theda Bara's wardrobe. I dreamed of leading men like Rudolph Valentino. As I got older, my dates knew how to make me happy. We'd go see a movie, and I'd go whether or not I liked the boy. _

_ That's how I met Roy, anyways. Talkies were out, and I remember our first date he took me out to see a Mary Pickford/Douglas Fairbanks movie although I usually preferred more dramatic actresses like Greta Garbo. Mary Pickford's little miss virtue act annoyed me. Roy bought me popcorn and we held hands in the dark. He made me think I was in love with him, and maybe I was. I honestly don't know, even now. I can't get rid of his wedding ring. I still wear it, even if he is in jail, and even though I love Clyde now. He doesn't know what it is. _

_ Then I met Clyde, and I loved him even after I knew what he did. That's what Roy did too, but I hardly ever even saw him after we got married. But Clyde was different. He treated me like a princess. He treated me like a movie star, and he told me he loved me. Before he got arrested, I had this whole little dream in my head. We were in Hollywood, and I had a bursting career. Clyde would come into my fancy penthouse apartment with a bouquet of roses and ask me to marry him and our wedding would be even bigger than any other Hollywood wedding before. It was a foolish dream, and schoolgirl's dream. I see that now. _

_ I loved him so much I was willing to break him out of jail. Clyde still talked about going to Hollywood and me being a movie star and all that, even though we left West Dallas and practically fled. Foolishly, I kept my little dream. I decided I'd have to use my middle name and be Elizabeth Parker instead, once we got there. But that was a year ago, and somewhere along the way, I gave up. I'm not so stupid as I used to be. _

_ Still, a small part of me wants me to follow my dream. Maybe that's why the baby gives me hope. Maybe that's why I have to keep her. I've never been the motherly type, so this is new. I guess I want to take her to Hollywood. If I can't be a star maybe she can. That would be a better dream, anyway. _

Bonnie set down the pencil and sighed. After leaving, she and Clyde had driven almost twenty-four hours non-stop into Oklahoma, before Clyde had said they would stop for the night. In the morning, they'd scope out another town. It was horribly hot, and she hadn't been able to sleep. Clyde was stretched out in the front seat of the Packard, and all the doors were open. She'd taken refuge on a large rock next to fire they'd built, its hint of smoke chasing away the mosquitoes. She was feeling sick again, but at least Clyde and she had talked things out. He finally agreed to let her keep the baby, at least until it was born. He obviously wasn't warm to the idea of fatherhood, but at least he cared about her.

_Present Day_

Elizabeth Spencer stared at the sheets of paper in front of her. She'd expected her mother's paperwork, notes, and receipts to be in the box she was sorting. She'd never, ever expected something like this. She read through the hand-written note again, printed on wrinkled, yellowed paper in faded ink.

_Dear Liz, _

_ I'm writing this just as Clyde and I are getting ready to drop you off. It breaks my heart to do this to you, little angel. These last two days with you have been the best of my life. I'd love to keep you, believe me, that's what I long for. But your Daddy thinks you'd be safer with adoptive parents. The couple has already agreed to take you. They don't know who we are, but they will soon enough. I'm giving you all the things I've written that I still have. I kept my journal with me, even when we left Joplin. I don't know if your adoptive parents will want you to know that you're the daughter of Bonnie and Clyde, but that's up to them. When you get old enough, if they want to tell you, they can. If you do ever read this, I hope you know how much I love you, and how it breaks my heart to give you up like this. Best wishes, darling girl. _

_Bonnie E. Parker, XO. _

Elizabeth's mind raced. The short paragraph had revealed so much, and it suddenly occurred to her that her mom knew about this. The only thing she knew about Bonnie and Clyde was from the movie, which she didn't even think she'd watched all of. One line came back to her know. _I'm Clyde, this is Bonnie, and we rob banks. _

She could be related to the infamous bank robbers? The note was obviously addressed to a baby named Liz. Yeah, Liz, the name of her great-grandmother, whom she'd been named after. _Mom was Bonnie and Clyde's granddaughter? She must've known. Maybe that was why she killed herself. _

As soon as she thought that, a rush of tears came. She was a junior in high school, and even though she had sometimes complained to her friends she didn't need her mom anymore, the loss of her mom had revealed to her that she, in fact, most certainly did. Her mom had committed suicide two weeks earlier, and now her left-behind daughter found out just who they were related to. The revelation brought more than just tears. It brought a whole new meaning to life.

**Thank you for reading! I'd love to know what you think, and any feedback is welcome. (Especially if anything was confusing!) I'm probably going to incorporate some parts of historical based Bonnie and Clyde, as well as elements from the musical. And FYI, the Bonnie and Clyde part takes place in about July of 1932. Please leave a review with your comments, and I will love you forever! **

**Xoxo**

**~Delovlies**


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